The Book Man Of The Universe

Who's On First

2008-06-26T16:56:00.000-07:00

Who's On First
(Sketch by Bud Abbot and Lou Costello)

LOU: I love baseball. When we get to St. Louis, will you tell
me the guys' name on the team so when I go to see them in
that St. Louis ball park I'll be able to know those
fellows?

BUD: All right. but you know, strange as it may seems, they
give ball players nowadays very peculiar names, nick names,
like "Dizzy Dean." Now on the St. Louis team we have Who's
on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third --

LOU: That's what I want to find out. I want you to tell me the
names of the fellows on the St. Louis team.

BUD: I'm telling you. Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't
Know is on third --

LOU: You know the fellows' names?

BUD: Yes.

LOU: Well, then who's playin' first.

BUD: Yes

LOU: I mean the fellow's name on first base.

BUD: Who.

LOU: The fellow playin' first base for St. Louis.

BUD: Who.

LOU: The guy on first base.

BUD: Who is on first.

LOU: Well, what are you askin' me for?

BUD: I'm not asking you -- I'm telling you. WHO IS ON FIRST.

LOU: I'm asking you -- who's on first?

BUD: That's the man's name!

LOU: That's who's name?

BUD: Yes.

LOU: Well, go ahead and tell me.

BUD: Who.

LOU: The guy on first.

BUD: Who.

LOU: The first baseman.

BUD: Who is on first.

LOU: Have you got a first baseman on first?

BUD: Certainly.

LOU: Then who's playing first?

BUD: Absolutely.

LOU: (pause) When you pay off the first baseman every month, who
gets the money?

BUD: Every dollar of it. And why not, the man's entitled to it.

LOU: Who is?

BUD: Yes.

LOU: So who gets it?

BUD: Why shouldn't he? Sometimes his wife comes down and
collects it.

LOU: Who's wife?

BUD: Yes. After all the man earns it.

LOU: Who does?

BUD: Absolutely.

LOU: Well all I'm trying to find out is what's the guys name on
first base.

BUD: Oh, no, no, What is on second base.

LOU: I'm not asking you who's on second.

BUD: Who's on first.

LOU: That's what I'm trying to find out.

BUD: Well, don't change the players around.

LOU: I'm not changing nobody.

BUD: Now, take it easy.

LOU: What's the guy's name on first base?

BUD: What's the guy's name on second base.

LOU: I'm not askin' ya who's on second.

BUD: Who's on first.

LOU: I don't know.

BUD: He's on third. We're not talking about him.

LOU: How could I get on third base?

BUD: You mentioned his name.

LOU: If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is
playing third?

BUD: No, Who's playing first.

LOU: Stay offa first, will ya?

BUD: Well what do you want me to do?

LOU: Now what's the guy's name on first base?

BUD: What's on second.

LOU: I'm not asking ya who's on second.

BUD: Who's on first.

LOU: I don't know.

BUD: He's on third.

LOU: There I go back on third again.

BUD: Well, I can't change their names.

LOU: Say, will you please stay on third base.

BUD: Please. Now what is it you want to know.

LOU: What is the fellow's name on third base.

BUD: What is the fellow's name on second base.

LOU: I'm not askin' ya who's on second.

BUD: Who's on first.

LOU: I don't know.

BUD: THIRD BASE!

LOU: You got an outfield?

BUD: Oh, sure.

LOU: St. Louis has got a good outfield?

BUD: Oh, absolutely.

LOU: The left fielder's name?

BUD: Why.

LOU: I don't know, I just thought I'd ask.

BUD: Well, I just thought I'd tell you.

LOU: Them tell me who's playing left field.

BUD: Who's playing first.

LOU: Stay out of the infield!

BUD: Don't Don't mention any names out here.

LOU: I want to know what's the fellow's name on left field?

BUD: What is on second.

LOU: I'm not askin' ya who's on second.

BUD: Who is on first.

LOU: I don't know.

BUD & LOU: (together and calmly) Third base.

LOU: And the left fielder's name?

BUD: Why.

LOU: Because.

BUD: Oh he's Center Field.

LOU: (whimpers) Center field.

BUD: Yes.

LOU: Wait a minute. You got a pitcher on this team.

BUD: Wouldn't this be a fine team without a pitcher.

LOU: I don't know. Tell me the pitcher's name.

BUD: Tomorrow.

LOU: You don't want to tell me today?

BUD: I'm tell you, man.

LOU: Then go ahead.

BUD: Tomorrow.

LOU: What time?

BUD: What time what?

LOU: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's pitching?

BUD: Now listen, Who is not pitching. Who is on --

LOU: I'LL BREAK YOU ARM IF YOU SAY "WHO'S ON FIRST!"

BUD: Then why come up here and ask?

LOU: I want to know what's the pitcher's name.

BUD: What's on second.

LOU: I don't know.

BUD & LOU: (VERY QUICKLY) THIRD BASE!!

LOU: You gotta Catcher?

BUD: Yes.

LOU: The Catcher's name?

BUD: Today.

LOU: Today. And Tomorrow's pitching.

BUD: Now you've got it.

LOU: That's all. St. Louis hat a couple of days on their team.

BUD: Well I can't help that.

LOU: You know I'm a good catcher too.

BUD: I know that.

LOU: I would like to play for the St. Louis team.

BUD: Well I might arrange that.

LOU: I would like to catch. Now I'm being a good Catcher,
tomorrow's pitching on the team, and I'm catching.

BUD: Yes.

LOU: Tomorrow throws the ball and the guy up bunts the ball.

BUD: Yes.

LOU: Now when he bunts the ball -- me being a good catcher -- I
want to throw the guy out a first base, so I pick up the
ball and throw it to who?

BUD: Now that's the first thing you've said right.

LOU: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!!!!

BUD: Well, that's all you have to do.

LOU: is to throw it to first base.

BUD: Yes.

LOU: Now who's got it?

BUD: Naturally.

LOU: Who has it?

BUD: Naturally.

LOU: Naturally.

BUD: Naturally.

LOU: O.K.

BUD: Now you've got it.

LOU: I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally.

BUD: No you don't you throw the ball to first base.

LOU: Then who gets it?

BUD: Naturally.

LOU: O.K.

BUD: All right.

LOU: I throw the ball to Naturally.

BUD: You don't you throw it to2Gto.

LOU: Naturally.

BUD: Well, naturally. Say it that way.

LOU: That's what i said.

BUD: You did not.

LOU: I said I'd throw the ball to Naturally.

BUD: You don't. You throw it to Who.

LOU: Naturally.

BUD: Yes.

LOU: So I throw the ball to first base and Naturally gets it.

BUD: No. You throw the ball to first base--

LOU: Then who gets it?

BUD: Naturally.

LOU: That's what I'm saying.

BUD: You're not saying that.

LOU: I throw the ball to Naturally.

BUD: You throw it to Who!

LOU: Naturally.

BUD: Naturally. Well say it that way.

LOU: THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING!

BUD: Now don't get excited.

LOU: Whose gettin excited!! I throw the ball to first base--

BUD: Then Who gets it.

LOU: (annoyed) HE BETTER GET IT!

BUD: That's it. All right now Take it easy.

LOU: Hrmmph.

BUD: Hrmmph.

LOU: Now I throw the ball to first base, whoever it is grabs
the ball, so the guy runs to second.

BUD: Uh-huh.

LOU: Who picks up the ball and throws it to what. What throws
it to I don't know. I don't know throws it back to
tomorrow -- a triple play.

BUD: Yeah. It could be.

LOU: Another guy gets up and it's a long fly ball to center.
Why? I don't know, he's on third, and I don't give a darn.

BUD: What did you say.

LOU: I said "I don't give a darn."

BUD: Oh, that's our shortstop!

LOU: ABBOTT!

ChaCha Answers Questions For Twitter Followers.

2008-05-01T09:06:00.000-07:00

So, here it is, the long awaited blog post that I have been promising for weeks now, only, it's not what you were expecting. What I have done... OK, that's not where you start. Starting at the beginning is where one starts.

A number of months ago I started a twitter account, yes, that's what I said, twitter. It's micro-blogging, you can find out all you want about that at the twitter home page. About a month ago I found ChaCha, and yes, you read that one correct also, ChaCha, they are a lot like “Ask Jeeves” used to be, you can find out all about them at their home page too.

If your not doing micro-blogging at twitter yet, you need to get started right away. This is my twitter name, IgetU2C, you can see what I am doing and then, once you get started, you can follow me, I will follow you back, of course.

These are the questions that I asked ChaCha during the month of April. I did not do ANY editing on the questions or answers so you will see stuff that makes no sense. So, here we go, off to see what ChaCha said to my questions.

ChaCha How can I get more people to follow me on twitter? 09:03 PM April 05, 2008

ChaCha One way is to connect your blog feed to Twitter and posting events and breaking news.Have a great day ! For more information about your answer visit: http://chacha.com/u/5iromwao 09:08 PM April 05, 2008

ChaCha Where should I look for a windows compatible program similar to "Norton Disk Editor for DOS?" 09:26 PM April 05, 2008

ChaCha Check out Laplink Software. Their Pro software is comparable to Norton Desk Editor. Good luck! Thanks for using ChaCha! For more information about your answer visit: http://chacha.com/u/hvp3m5vj 09:28 PM April 05, 2008

ChaCha When was coffee discovered and who discovered it? 11:43 PM April 05, 2008

ChaCha The Arabs were the first, not only to cultivate coffee but also to begin its trade, before the fifteenth century. Thanks! For more information about your answer visit: http://chacha.com/u/5lb2edjm 11:45 PM April 05, 2008

ChaCha Where can a find a older version of Skype that will work on my old windows 98SE computer? 11:57 AM April 07, 2008

ChaCha Try For more information about your answer visit: http://oldapps.com/skype.htm- Be aware that Skype isn't supported with Wi 11:59 AM April 07, 2008

ChaCha I'm helping a disabled man find government surplus food in his neighborhood, how do I find where it is distributed? 03:32 PM April 09, 2008

ChaCha Contact the Foodbank of Southern California 1444 San Francisco Avenue, Long Beach, California 90813. Phone: (562) 435-3577 For more information about your answer visit: http://chacha.com/u/0n6bzjsa 03:43 PM April 09, 2008

ChaCha Where might I find some "totally free" "public domain" movies to "download" in "MPG" format? 11:51 AM April 12, 2008

ChaCha Free public domain movies can be downloaded from sites on the Internet including liketelevision.com and publicdomaintorrents.com For more information about your answer visit: http://chacha.com/u/u82g3a93 11:56 AM April 12, 2008

ChaCha Do you know if there is such a thing as a totally free computer and if so, where might I get one from? 12:34 PM April 15, 2008

ChaCha http://opencollector.org/fr... lots of links to free programs. http://chacha.com/u/sywuiuc8 12:38 PM April 15, 2008

ChaCha I'm blind, I'm looking for a program or plug-in/add-on/extension that will read selected tweets by a synthesized voice. 05:13 PM April 16, 2008

ChaCha Read It Aloud! from Moderntools.com lets you select text, press a hotkey, and hear the text spoken to you. Have a nice day! For more information about your answer visit: http://chacha.com/u/5cbqo5ms 05:17 PM April 16, 2008

ChaCha I am looking for a place to get programs and games for my HumanWare BrailleNote mPower, do you know of one? 11:09 PM April 17, 2008

ChaCha There are hundreds of compatible interactive fiction games available for download on the Internet. Go to www.humanware.com For more information about your answer visit: http://chacha.com/u/guo2p0a... are hundreds of compatible interactive 11:14 PM April 17, 2008

ChaCha I am looking for audio files of all of Ronald Ragen's speeches, do you know where I can find them? 12:43 AM April 18, 2008

ChaCha All of them are here: http://cstl-cla.semo.edu/Re... Have a great night! http://chacha.com/u/0okx90gv 12:47 AM April 18, 2008

ChaCha What's twice the half of two and a half? 01:48 PM April 19, 2008

ChaCha Half of 2.5 is 1.25... twice that is 2.5. Hope you have a great weekend! Thanks for using ChaCha! http://chacha.com/u/9149883 01:51 PM April 19, 2008

ChaCha How does one become one of the public tweets that is sent out by @ChaCha? 02:09 PM April 19, 2008

ChaCha Just go to our website and check it out. There's lots of info that tells you how to get started in the Become a Guide section. For more information about your answer visit: http://chacha.com/u/lzt73gk... go to our website and check it out. Ther 02:12 PM April 19, 2008

ChaCha Who is the most followed person on twitter? 10:29 PM April 20, 2008

ChaCha Obama has more followers than any other Twitter user Thank you for texting ChaCha http://chacha.com/u/g7ay1cq4 10:31 PM April 20, 2008

ChaCha Who is the person that follows the most people on twitter? 10:30 PM April 20, 2008

ChaCha Unfortunately, twitter doesn't offer that information to non-members such as myself. http://chacha.com/u/lzt7ssog 10:33 PM April 20, 2008

ChaCha Where is the best place to get free braille books for adults? 11:35 PM April 20, 2008

ChaCha Your local library would be your best bet. Thanks for using ChaCha! http://chacha.com/u/9181531 11:36 PM April 20, 2008

ChaCha I have a rhyme that comes in a riddle, what's round on the ends and high in the middle? 08:14 PM April 21, 2008

ChaCha Ohio! I enjoy the band Devo, as well. Thanks for asking ChaCha! Have a great day! http://chacha.com/u/o2wax56g 08:17 PM April 21, 2008

ChaCha I am looking for a book titled, "A Vow Broken, A God of Hope" by, Greta Vince in an accessible format, do you know of any? 06:02 PM April 26, 2008

ChaCha This link should help: For more information about your answer visit: http://www.alibris.com/book... 06:04 PM April 26, 2008

ChaCha Why does it seem that none of you ChaCha answer folks have twitter accounts and yet you all send tweets? 06:45 PM April 27, 2008

ChaCha Who has time to have a twitter account, when we are so busy sending tweets!! Thanks for trying ChaCha, can we answer a question? For more information about your answer visit: http://chacha.com/u/o2wau08... has time to have a twitter account, when 06:46 PM April 27, 2008

ChaCha What are the exact amounts and ingredient's in the original Coca Cola? 06:53 PM April 27, 2008

ChaCha The exact recipe of Coca-Cola is a company secret, which is why it was never patented. http://chacha.com/u/9452329 06:56 PM April 27, 2008

ChaCha Who really is buried in Grants tomb? 07:00 PM April 27, 2008

ChaCha No one's underground there, but our eighteenth president and his wife are, however, entombed there. The tomb is in a park. For more information about your answer visit: http://chacha.com/u/ac2kt1whNo one's underground there, but our eighteent 07:03 PM April 27, 2008

Yearbook or Year Book?

2008-03-24T12:24:00.000-07:00

A group of us were talking awhile back about the tradition of having our friends and favorite teachers write in and autograph our high school yearbooks. We talked about all sorts of aspects of it but when it came to one subject, everyone was somewhat stumped. A question was asked, “why is it that grammar, spelling and punctuation go out the window when writing in yearbooks?” Is it a type of rebellion against the system, is the the real person finally coming through, or is it the fact the after twelve years of going to school we really haven't learned very much?

Interesting question, I wonder why this has not been addressed by the educational institutions. Maybe a requirement to graduate should be that we have our yearbooks graded, that is, those who write in them. I wander if this was ever brought up in congress, they talk about other silly things, why not this one. Maybe a UN resolution should be to raise the quality of yearbook autographs and other salutations, greetings and yes, even epitaphs, all of these show up in yearbooks at one time or another. Perhaps the environmentalists could actually do something useful like start an international campaign to beautify our annuals by teaching students poetry that actually makes sense. The Children's Television Workshop could create an animated series about creative ways to say “lets keep in touch.” How about the “Grammar Girl" doing a podcast about this fascinating subject.

I think this concern needs some serious and considerable thought. We need to sit down with our children and teach them the joy of creative yearbook signing. Why hasn't someone written a number one best seller entitled “Yearbook Signing for Dummies” or “Ten Ways to Improve Your Yearbook Autograph” or even “The top 100 Yearbook Salutations and Why They Stand the Test of Time: Examples on creating your own memorable yearbook greetings.”

The Disney company should do a “Wonderful World of Disney” special about a couple of kids who stood up and refused to write a misspelled, bad grammar and punctuation comment in anyones yearbook and how they were persecuted for it. After all, it's sort of like discrimination against good English, isn't it.

Alright, alright, I know, I know, enough you say, but is it really, get out your annuals and read through them and see just how good your friends were at telling you “stay in touch.” Be critical, after all, your good at it. Send them a message at www.classmates.com and tell them how they really were, let them now that creative is not a synonym corny. Please tell me your thoughts on this, I want to know if you have any ideas on how to deal with this extremely overlooked issue.

An Explanation With No Apologies.

2008-03-24T09:42:00.000-07:00

I thought I would attempt to write a blog post about what the heck I am trying to do here, feedback is not required.

This is called, “The Book Man of the Universe” simply because... well, It is what came into my head at the moment I was working out the idea for a blog and list posts for the “Bookshare.org Volunteer Discussion List” and the “Bookshare Discussion List,” both at “http://www.freelists.org/.” Now, I am sticking with it because I actually like the thought of being known as “The Book Man.” However, I am also known by the screen name of “IgetU2C.” For those of you who would like to know that that is all about, it's simple, “I Get You To See.” There is no purpose for this, it, just, is!

My original idea for this blog was to promote www.bookshare.org, but now I am changing ever so slightly, well, that's a major understatement, I am changing directions massively, besides, I don't think that there is any reason why a person can't change their mind. The new direction is to promote myself, and the ideas that I am working on as well as promoting the ideas of others, just in case you didn't notice that, I am an ideas man, I am more inclined to follow through with an idea if I am a part of a successful team then I am by myself. I am also going to promote people and their businesses, products and services, web pages, blogs and podcasts. I might complain once in awhile, but if I do, you can yell back at me, that will help to keep me from griping. I hope to be entertaining as well, funny, ironic, satiric, and critical are also possible. Who knows what will come into my head and who knows what will come out of my mouth or fingers, you'll have to bookmark this blog to see.

Question: What would you like to see in a blog? Answer: (post a comment here). I'd like to hear from you. Tell me if I am bad, good or otherwise. I don't know about you but I am always looking for ways to improve my skill set and refine my talents.

I'd like to thank Monica Willyard for being pushy, she is a positive pusher, moving people in the right direction is a talent that few people have these days. I would also like to thank the “Grammar Girl”, Mignon Fogarty. She is the bloggers best friend.

A Final Note.

I am giving you a link to my business website “Collins International,” you can log in as a “guest.” You can also follow me at twitter and keep up with my wanderings through my days and you can see what my friends are up to as well. Here's how you find me: www.twitter.com/IGetU2C. Oh, by the way, look at my “favorites” to see what is interesting to me and you should look at who I am following, these folks are an excellent source for improving your web presents and promoting your business and your products and services. Check out what www.twitter.com/plumlipstick is doing, she is an excellent writer and you can find her blogs and other stuff there as well. I will post links every so often to her scribblings here on my disjointed blog too.

Thanks for listening!

CSUN -- Report

2008-03-11T17:03:00.000-07:00

Well, here it is, the second day of what we call "CSUN" and I haven't said a single word about it.

I'll start by saying that, CSUN is a very short name for a very extensive convention. Every year, California State University at Northridge Center on Disabilities Conference holds it's International Conference on Technology and Persons with Disabilities. This year is shaping up to be one of the best.

The conference is being held at the Los Angeles Airport Marriott and the Renaissance Montura Hotel Los Angeles

This year, Jim Fruchterman has been asked to convene the conference. The members and volunteers of bookshare.org have been very excited about that. Jim Fruchterman, is one of the leading innovators in the field of assistive technology and will prove to be one of the highlights for many of those attend the conference.

My purpose here is to learn about what the vendors, presenters and attendees are looking for in technology and what they hope to find at the conference. Also to collect information on what the trends that are moving the disabled community into social media and networking. I'm sure I will find quite a lot of valuable material. I will be putting all of this into podcasts and blogs.

On Thursday the exhibit halls will be open to the public. This is where I will spend most of my time. I will be talking to everyone about their experience and what they are hoping to take home with them.

That will be it for now, it's kind of short but the fact is, I don't have a lot of interviews done yet.

The Twelve Stories Before Christmas: The List.

2007-12-10T16:38:00.000-08:00

As you know I have been selecting books that have been suggested by you, well here is what you have recommended for this list.

Oh, by the way, there is another book for those of you who would like to read a non-fiction book that will give you a whole new perspective on the whole Christmas thing. "The Physics of Christmas: From the Aerodynamics of Reindeer to the Thermodynamics of Turkey" by Roger Highfield, This is a good read for every one else too. This book and all the other books on the list are on bookshare and some of them are open to the public.

Here is the list of "The Twelve Stories Before Christmas."

Skipping Christmas by John Grisham

The Christmas Books (Everyman Dickens by Everyman's Library) by Charles Dickens, Sally Ledger (editor)

Louisa May Alcott's Christmas Treasury: The Complete Christmas Collection by Louisa May Alcott, Stephen W Hines (Editor)

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Robinson

Miracle on 34th Street by Valentine Davies

Angels In The Snow by Melody Carlson

The Gift of the Magi and Other Stories by O. Henry

The Birds' Christmas Carol by Kate Douglas Wiggin

The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus and A Kidnapped Santa Claus by L. Frank Baum

Christmas in Noisy Village by Astrid Lindgren, Ilon Wikland

Yes, Virginia by Peg Sutherland

Gideon's Gift: A Novel by Karen Kingsbury

The Twelve Stories Before Christmas

2007-12-02T18:16:00.000-08:00

Happy Holidays Everyone,

I was talking with some friends recently about an idea that I had for this blog. I was looking for a way to show my support for bookshare.org and at the same time give people who like books and reading a chance to share there favorite books and authors. I also wanted to take advantage of the holiday season. Here is what I posted to the bookshare discussion list.

I am looking for some help from all of you. The reason we are all here is books and so what I would like to know is, what are your favorite Christmas stories? You see, what I am doing is writing a blog, and I am doing a post called "The Twelve Stories Before Christmas." What I am looking for is twelve books, one for each day leading up to Christmas Eve. I would like to hear from all of you about which books at bookshare are your favorite Christmas stories. I don't know about you but I am looking forward to seeing whose favorite books get selected for the list of stories. I am looking forward to hearing from you and I will keep you all up to date about the blog and the Christmas stories list. Leave a comment with your favorite Christmas books and authors. Thanks for all of your help and support. books and authors.

Christian Fiction Book Club

2007-11-20T08:36:00.000-08:00

There is a Christian Fiction Book Club that meets once a month, check it out, the founder and leader is Monica Willyard and she is a fantastic moderator. If you would like to review past meetings, here are some links for you.

December 7 2007, Crime and Clutter Cyndy Slzmann

November 16 2007, Crime and Clutter by Cyndy Salzmann

November 2 2007, The Last Jihad by Joel C. Rosenberg

October 19 2007, At the Back of the North Wind by George MacDonald

September 21 2007, The Justice by Angela Elwell Hunt

The date links go to the mp3 file, the book titles go to the main book page at bookshare.org and the author names go to the main author page at bookshare.org.

The Starting Point

2007-10-19T14:58:00.000-07:00

Hello, the blog you are about to read is true, well, not really. I am going to fill all of you in on what's going on in my life, my virtual life that is, after all, isn't that what you are here for?

First, I think I will tell you a little bit about myself. OK, now that we got that out of the way, now we can move on to the important stuff, the stuff.

For those of you who haven't heard of it yet there is the best website for getting books, there it is, the real reason for this blog, books. It is bookshare.org and I have only recently joined. I am also a volunteer. If you are a fan of books or reading this is a great place to go.

If you would like to talk with the members, volunteers or friends of bookshare, there is a chat room that you can go to and ask all the questions you want and get answers and find out all the details you could possibly want to know. They are the most friendly and helpful group you could find and the best part is that they are friends and friends are just as good as family.

If you go, let me know and I will be happy to meet you there. Just post to TheBookManOfTheUniverse@GMail.com and let me know when you will be there and I will pop in and be glad to chat and don't forget to stay tuned for further postings and updates.